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SPEEDING SENIOR CITIZEN
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette
convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down
the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down Churchill
Roosevelt Highway, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a traffic
police vehicle behind him, lights flashing and siren
blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old
for this,” and pulled over to await the police officer’s
arrival. Pulling in behind him, the officer walked up
to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir,
my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you
can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never
heard before, I’ll
let you go.”The old
gentleman paused.
Then said, “Years ago,
my wife ran off with a
Policeman. I thought
you were bringing her
back.”“Have a good
day, sir,” replied the
officer…
A MENTAL TEST
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep
end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed
there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She
swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the
medical director became aware of Edna’s heroic act,
he immediately ordered her to be discharged from
the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally
stable. When he went to tell Edna the news he said,
“Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good
news is you’re being discharged, since you were able
to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
saving the life of another patient. I have concluded
that your act displays sound mindness. The bad news
is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his
bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s
dead.” Edna replied “He didn’t hang himself, I put him
there to dry.”
dK
PHOTOGRAPHY
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(868) 761-9499
Kern Williams
Photographer
P.O. Box
1367
92A Wrightson Road
Port of Spain, Trinidad, WI.
Tel:
(868)
761-9499
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ISLAND TALK
A Canadian Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and
told the Guyanese driver that because he was wearing
his seat belt he had just won $5,000 in the Province
safety competition.
‘What are you going to do with the money?’ asked the
policeman
‘Well, I gonna get a driver’s license,’ he answered.
‘Oh, don’t listen to him,’ yelled the Trini woman in the
passenger’s seat...’He’s a smart ass when he drunk.’
This woke up the Bajan guy in the back seat, who took
one look at the cop and moaned, ‘I knew we was not
gonna get far in dis thief -in car.’
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a
Jamacian voice said in patois, ‘Yow!, I man mek it crass
di barder yet?
The Canadian Higway Patrolman smiled and handed
the $5,000 cheque to the driver, ‘I always loved the
island talk, but I could never understand it. Have a nice
day.
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