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Government Road-side Workers
These two government-paid workers were working along
the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then
move on. The other man came along behind him and filled
in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other
was 25 feet behind filling in the hole. The men worked
right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the
road. “I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can into
a trash container and heading down the road toward the
men.
A befuddled onlooker went to the men and said: “Hold it,
hold it. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with all this
digging and refilling?”
“Well, we work for the government and we’re just doing our
job,” one of the men said.
“But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up.
You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the
taxpayers’ money?”
“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said,
leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally
there’s three of us: me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole,
Elmer sticks in the tree and Leroy, here, puts the dirt back.
Now just because Elmer’s sick, that don’t mean that Leroy
and me can’t work.”
How Long Before I Can Get A
Haircut?
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How
long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around
the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door
and asks “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber
looks around at the shop full of customers and says, “About
3 hours.” The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and
asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber
looks around the shop and says, “About an hour and half.”
The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says,
“Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He
keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then
doesn’t come back.” A little while later, Bill comes back into
the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, “Bill,
where did he go when he left here?”
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, “Your house!”
Miss Maisy
A Jamaican man is sitting watching tv and his wife comes
up behind him and whacks him with a frying pan.
“Ay! Wa’ dat fa?” he shouts.
“Me fine one paper in yuh pocket wid a gal name on it,
“Miss Maisy.” she says.
“Wa you mean? Me an’ me frien’ Leroy went a race track
last week and Miss Maisy is de name a de horse wey run
in de first race,” he protests.
Two days later he is sitting watching tv again and “wack”
one lick ina him head back with a dutch-pot.
“Oooowww” he shouts, “wa’ dat fa now?”
Wife replies, “Yuh horse deh on di phone “!
